my heart is empty but it's ok..........

adoihh, sakitnye belakang.errghh sbb ape? kerja kuat sgt kot? kerjala sgt. bukan kau asyik melepak ke? haha. eh lepak2 buat duit xpe.haha whatever lah nora. lately hati rasa berat, sakit sgt. u guys mestila tau sbb ape kan. takpayah i explain pjg lebar. but then, takpelah. things happen for a reason. so i MUST accept walaupun dgn berat hati. 4tahun bukan sng nk lupa. even dah meet new guy pun tak boleh replace everything.haihhh, susah jugak kan becinta ni? sumpah i ckp kalau i boleh turn back time mati hidup semula pun i takkan bercinta. serik nak mati!! erghh. but now i dah okla. takdela sasau mcm dulu just sometimes i do miss him a lot. biarla teruk mcm mane pun die buat i, i still love him. even kitorg xde jodoh pun i still love him. i tak penah bedendam dgn dia. sikit pun tak. walaupun dia byk lukakan i sama ada die sdar or tak, i tak penah benci sikit pun dkat die, i hope he know that even skrg die dah buang semua pasal i dari hidup die, tp memori i dgn dia tetap i simpan. kenangan manis, pahit, i simpan elok2 dalam hati. for me it's a BIG lesson. really big lesson. byk benda yg i blajar dari dia sepanjang 4tahun kami besama. i tak penah cuba untuk erase pasal die dari hidup i. biarla die buang i, tp i tak penah buang die. i harap sgt yg kitorg boleh jadi best fren, but die mcm tak boleh accept i lg. i taktau kenape. maybe die pikir ape yg jadi ni semua salah i, but i taktau why die tak penah nak pikir salah die. i taknak salahkan die. biarlah. biarla die benci i, marah i, block i, buang i. i tak kisah. one day he will realize something. maybe not now. may it takes a year for him to realize everything. i still sayangkan die. seriously i tak boleh lupakan dia. walaupun telalu byk benda yg menyakitkan yg i tempuh dgn die, i still telalu sygkan die. kenapa tuhan ambil dia dari i? kenapa tuhan pisahkan kami? only God knows well. kadang-kadang i still beharap yg die akan kembali ke pangkuan i, i still beharap yg die akan jadi suami yg baik untuk i tapi i tau tu smua hanya angan2 yg tak mungkin jadi kenyataan. Takpelah, God have the answer to all this. I will accept everything with widely open heart. Now i nak fokus on my carrier, nak cari duit byk2 then go travel. Maybe kalau byk lagi duit i nk fly oversea and hidup dkat sana. InsyaAllah, if God wills, i will be there. Guys pls pray for me ya. I wanna be happy even if i have no one by my side. Life must goes on right? so i should not stop to dream big. yes! dream big nora. Face the pain and u will slowly heal, trust yourself. :)